You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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