areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
