so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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