they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize