I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
