We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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