so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
