I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Alive.
So much puke
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
