Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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