Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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