You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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