I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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