before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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