.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
