Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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