marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My room smells like vodka and shame
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize