my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
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