I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
