ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the condom got lost in my hair
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
