with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
