So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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