Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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