That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
