Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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