yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
