He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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