Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
