why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize