so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
