I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
