I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
