Barsexuality is the new black.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
