I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
