I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
