One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
