I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
