Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
