she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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