Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
