she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
