A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
