So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
