His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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