R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize