Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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