it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
