New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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