Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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