I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
