Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Send help, water and tortillas.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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