She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
