I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She said her name was "party"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
