thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Drake has all the answers
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
