Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
