it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
