ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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