so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
