Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
