It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
