Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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